3DD!3

From about half way through this was an improvised commercial for the Bible and MilkyWay, packed with snappy lines. Sumptuous sub-plots and cameos never seen before. Rihanna burns in hellfire, Michael Cera didn’t disappoint for the first time in his life, Hermione has an ax and Tatum delivers another good one this year. Everybody in the main gang rocks, but I rooted for Franco the most. I guffawed loud and frequently. I’m glad they’re doing the sequel to Pineapple Express.

Now even the original concept of the hangover has been dropped... And there’s more of that dumb Chinaman too. It’s fine that Phillips tried to make it a bit different third time round, but it’s more or less equally entertaining. Goodman is the only really nice character. A couple of great jokes, but overall it’s not very funny. They also ruined “Hurt" by Trent. I’m probably going to have nightmares from that post-credits scene.

Excellent. A precisely constructed heroic story (but the only things it has to do with Greek mythology are the names and the setting), good and bloody and bombastic. A perfect atmosphere and action, too. Mickey Rourke is great, Superman is pretty well on top of things and even Zeus is cool. A visual banquet.

A movie with a heart. A beautiful story about friendship, love, fathers and sons. The message behind it that women are bitches, but still it’s worth fighting for the right to be like that couldn’t be clearer. The Hicksville USA atmosphere is engrossing and Matthew is convincing in the main role. He has grown incredibly as an actor. The boys are also superbly cast. One of the most powerful movie experiences of this year.

A damn depressing video. In fact, its more terrifying than most current horror productions (what a terse review!). The question isn’t if we’re up shit creek, but how long can we be last there without dying from the stink? But just a moment... isn’t it good that we die? Or, like any bacteria worth its salt, shouldn’t we try to find somewhere else where we can live?

A story comparable with the picture book about the hippo that Damon quotes from in the movie, but the way they did it! A flawless rendition of the future that meets my demands. Perfect atmosphere and awesome action which sometimes stops short of the proverbial icing on the cake (which is a shame). The exosuit fight at the end is one of the best action sci-fi (hand-to-hand) fights I’ve ever seen. Blomkamp has gone a bit soft since last time and even though most of the characters behave like swines, they don’t mean it badly, which is a drawback compared to D9. The main powerhouse of the picture is the fantastic Sharlto Copley as Kruger, a fanatical psychopath (and my favorite character) whose alternative would probably have made for the best ending. Max, where are you?!

They say Nicholson is retiring from acting, so why not remind yourself of his genius today? An enjoyable romantic movie that comes across laid-back, calm and real. Diane Keaton literally shines, Jack plays a good second fiddle here. At the end I realized that I saw the end once before, without the beginning and the middle, hmh.

Maybe I went and did the worst crime of all... I got civilized. R. B. Riddick is back in a terribly animated comic book. It all stands on croaky old Vin Diesel and his croaky one-liners. Mediocre.

An artistic rendition of a girls’ trip to Florida or a perverse probe into the world of booze, drugs and weapons? Korine wants to film art, but emptiness filled with repeating scenes or whole sentences, strange lighting and filters (at least imho) just isn’t art. Empty prattle about friendship, supported by emotional imbalance and a freaky ending that brings the young generation a message involving a really good slapping. A huge positive role is James Franco’s Alien who overacts as much as possible, enjoying the caricature of a white black gansta/rapper to the last drop. Ingenious manipulator or stoned nut-job? I’d like to see a prequel showing his rise.

It’s certainly long. This story of vampire brothel madam Gemma Arterton (the performance of her life) has many memorable moments that make Byzantium fascinating to watch, but that isn’t enough. Too many wistful gazes from Saoirse Ronan, too much claptrap about the burden of being immortal. Captivating music, visuals excellent.