Necrotongue

I was surprised at how bad this movie was. The romance was pushed to the background in favor of comedy. But the movie was trying to be funny at all costs, and the quality paid the price. The whole thing was very uncomfortable to watch, and the ninety minutes of this travesty seemed more like four hours. 2*-

Seventy-five percent of the running time was funny, with decent acting performances, and an entertaining (though unoriginal) plot. True, the remaining quarter was composed of clichés and tugging at your heartstrings, but I guess that's what you get when you decide to watch a romantic movie. The viewer must shed a tear, even if it has to be done by way of torture. However, I rarely manage to burst out laughing at the mere line: "Occupied." The Poles have succeeded, and they deserve a fourth star for that.

Based on the title alone, I suspected that I wouldn't be the right target audience for this experience. I'm not really a fan of lawn keepers or other dimwits, so I didn't have any expectations whatsoever. But surprise, surprise, I actually enjoyed myself quite a bit throughout the whole thing, especially during the scenes with the duo Hoffman/Noha playing the detective/transporter pair. Seriously, I was expecting garbage worthy of the trash can, but surprisingly I got garbage that made me laugh and entertained me with its joyful disregard for political correctness. How else would I get acquainted with an advertisement for Down's syndrome that, if I upset someone, would eat my dog? 3*+

Another Czech comedy. I don't expect much from these movies anymore, but still, I had a feeling that there was a lack of humor. On the other hand, there were too many usual suspects appearing. Lately, I've gotten used to seeing men portrayed as a bunch of stupid, insensitive neanderthals (except for gays and non-white people), but this movie gave me a different impression. I think if I were a woman (or better yet, a mother), this depiction of women would have really upset me. Sure, there are women like that, just as there are the aforementioned neanderthals, but still... As I mentioned, there was either too little humor or it just didn't resonate with me, but I laughed three times (the life annuity scene amused me a lot). Among the actresses, Sandra Nováková impressed me the most with her performance. All in all, it could have been much worse.

Definitely not the first time I've seen this, and hopefully not the last. I’ve grown quite fond of the wandering psychologist/part-time goldfish with a very peculiar sense of humor, O.W. Grant. All the stops on Interstate 60 were great, but my personal favorite was the town full of people with law degrees. The cast was very good, the humor was the right kind to keep it from becoming a silly farce, and I had a great time from start to finish.

How do I approach this? A strange movie full of loud nature sounds (how I hate insects...), Welsh language, and a good atmosphere. It's obvious from the start that shit is going to hit the fan at some point in the story, but waiting for something to happen is painfully long. To say that the film had a slow pace is about as much of a euphemism as saying that Ed Kemper didn't exactly love his mother. Seriously, there were moments when I thought the DVD froze. It dragged but the occasional twists and turns and the very end were a reward for my endless patience. 3*+

What a weird movie. There wasn’t a hint of originality, a trio of not-quite-Shakespearean actors were cast in the lead roles, and the script and the way it was handled were quite unimpressive. Forty minutes into the movie, I was already bored, checking my watch every few minutes to see if it was going to be over soon. Gal Gadot may have a nice figure, but her acting is comparable to that of a Ukrainian clothes hanger, Ryan Reynolds' contribution was that he spent the entire movie rambling on and on (to a point when I started secretly hoping that his character would get killed off), and Dwayne Johnson is just The Rock. It was a very long two hours and I'm absolutely certain I won't watch it ever again.

A movie right up my alley. It's a straightforward comedy without any weird twists or nonsensical plots, and yet (or precisely because of that), I was royally entertained. The fact that people have different sexual tastes is hardly surprising. Some I understand and I can relate to them, others not so much, but basically, if both sides consent to it, it’s none of my business what they do. I didn’t think anything would surprise me anymore, but honestly, I have never heard of dacryphilia. Sounds terrifying. I enjoyed the stories of all the couples very much, Steve’s tactics in introducing himself were hilarious, but it was the phone calls that almost had me wet my pants. I was so entertained by this Australian film that I can't go below five stars.

Disney has produced another amazing adventure, and I couldn't keep track of how many different sources the filmmakers drew from (read: stole or ripped off). Those I noticed are The Mummy, Indiana Jones, Tomb Rider (the game), Pirates of the Caribbean, and All the Rivers Run:-) It was all incredibly "original", with an abundance of CGI (in terms of the amount, not quality), and it made the whole thing look like an adventure-fairy tale for the educationally challenged who like the jungle, rivers, boats, submarines, jaguars, musclemen, gays, heroic women, and dumbed-down scripts. I was partly just staring in disbelief, partly bored, and partly comforted by the presence of Emily Blunt. The youngest son of William II? Why? Do the Americans even know who William II was?

An awesome introduction to the legend of Christmas without the distractions of American commercialism. The Finns have gone wild again, and if they'd known Impaled Rectum back in 2010, it's clear who would have made the soundtrack to this joyous Christmas adventure. Finnish filmmaking may not be among the world's most popular, but I like their sense of humor very much, so I really enjoyed this Christmas story featuring the quirky Sami, reindeer, Santa, and elves. I had a great time, and even though Pietari was the main character, my personal favorite was definitely Piiparinen.