EvilPhoEniX

I didn't expect Marvel to become drama anymore either. Ironically, the best episodes are the first two, where at least the humor works, but once it switches to a more serious note and starts discussing scientific, physical, and family bullshit, I found the show incredibly maddening. The action is only there in the last episode and it sucked. It felt like a cheap teen soap from the 2000's and it's boring as fuck on top of that. I fell asleep during four episodes out of nine and nothing has managed to do that in a long time. I suffered so much that I couldn't make it through more than two episodes in a day, and they are only half an hour long. Nothing for me and I'm honestly relieved it's over. 4/10.

The label sounded good. Exploitation from Bangladesh based on true events with an incredible 8.0 rating. I don't know if it's inflated because Bangladesh made a film at all or because it's based on a true story, but either way it's woefully lackluster. The story is simple, a family in lockdown is celebrating their daughter's birthday when five bastards break into their house with the intention of robbing them. It all ends in a gang rape and subsequent murder. I believe the media went crazy over this and I admit the act is horrific, but for the film itself to shock, they should have shown something. I wasn't expecting another A Serbian Film, but seeing that there is also censorship of bad language, and the fact that there is bad language in maybe every other sentence, it beeps so much in places that it's funny and annoying at the same time. Anyway, there is no explicit violence, everything is off camera and the film will shock maybe teen girls or people who have never seen any exploitation. I was amused by one 10pt review where someone with exclamation marks warns don't watch if you have a weak stomach, I wonder how the person in question would digest, say, I Spit on Your Grave. Cheap psychological drama. 3/10.

There were a few laughs, but otherwise it's rather poor. Too awkward in places and literally tedious in the second half, which is a bad sign for a parody of Twilight. Fifty Shades of Black is a level above maybe even two above. 4/10.

Unfortunately, The Block Island Sound is another drama playing at horror that is so dreadfully dull and uninteresting that it downright hurts to watch. The story takes place on an island where strange things start happening, but strange doesn't necessarily mean interesting. Fish and birds are dying massively and people don't know what to do. It's kind of mysterious and about two scenes are a slightly creepy, but it's more about family relationships, conspiracy theories, and all sorts of mumbo jumbo that ultimately annoyed me more than interested me. If at least Ctulhu or some other Lovecraftian monster came out of the sea, but in the end nothing happens, and proof of that is the body-count of one. When I looked at the timer thinking it would be over in ten minutes and learned that I still had forty-five minutes left, it was really hard no to go cook something or sleep instead. Anyone who likes slow cheap movies where nothing happens but has atmosphere will be satisfied. 4/10.

Magical retro sci-fi for fans of the 80s from the creators of Turbo Killer. An artificial intelligence escapes its ship and takes on the form of a beautiful woman, and two cosmic desperadoes clash with her. Excellent creative visuals, a few references and great synth wave music. Too bad there wasn't a more action-packed scene so I could go higher with my rating, but still, this 50 minute short will please fans of older sci-fi. 6-5/10:

A great surprise from Canada and, dare I say, the scariest horror film of the year so far. The story focuses on an 18 year old girl who suffers from nightmares and decides to enroll in an experimental sleep study where her nightmares can be monitored, but what the purpose of the study is even she doesn't know. Of the slow-burn horror films that have come out lately, this one is definitely the best. It's got interesting grey-blue visuals, excellent atmosphere with a surrealistic touch, the scary visions are absolutely perfect, and fortunately there are enough of them and they are dosed from the beginning, so boredom is not really a threat. There is one scene that seems to have come out of Sient Hill that will make you change your underwear. The finale is properly suspenseful and even though I expected it to be a bit more intense, I am satisfied. The cherry on top is the very final twist, which is shocking and unexpected at the same time. Surreal dreamlike Canada is worth it! 8/10.

WOW! The strongest and most intense horror experience in the last ten years after The Conjuring and Evil Dead! Compared to the first film I see a significant step forward. This is no longer some cheap underground controversy-bait with over the top gore that you can laugh at. This is dark, evil, unholy, creepy, death-soaked horror with a capital H, and frankly, anyone who doesn't appreciate it has no love for the horror genre and loses all respect, sympathy and admiration from me. The entire film takes place in Hell! I can't think of a better setting for a horror film than hell itself, and that they would pull off the best hell the screen has ever seen I had no hope whatsoever. From the gaming world, the film is reminiscent of “Doom”, “Diablo”, “Jericho” and “Dark Souls”, and from the cinematic one Silent Hill, Baskin and Hellraiser. There is no story, it's a 70-minute walk through hell where the main character from a first person perspective kills demons, collects artifacts, puzzles and swears a lot. His “Fuck you” and “I’m fucking tired of this shit” are heard about 20 times, but it reminds me of cheesy lines from video games, so I took it as a funny element. But the main thing, the atmosphere, the setting and the gore are worth a full score without question. There's a downright beautiful cathedral, to the point where I wonder which priest or church on earth would approve of filming something like this in such a sacred place! Anyway, the Cathedral of Pain is a place I would visit in a heartbeat. The statues, the ornaments, the paintings are absolutely mesmerizing, and likewise the catacombs. There are skulls, corpses, coffins with crosses, martyrs everywhere and the fatal bridge with the dead toddlers and the abortion demon is without a doubt the most horrific scene not only in the film but in horror history in general. The soundtrack plays a very important role, whether it's the dark synth wave or the cathedral bell strikes, it properly rips your ears off. I have never seen such a dark, evil and demonic atmosphere in any other movie so far and I was really scared. And when it came to the gore it was properly dirty, disgusting, sleazy and you could see that this was no amateur work but the masters themselves worked on it! Proper old Italy gore at its best. I had to watch 1,700 horror films to come across the Best. That's when you're looking for a rock and you find gold! 10/10.

An enjoyable French comedy that rides the coattails of The War of the Roses. A divorced couple go to their daughter's wedding together, and on the way they get on each other's nerves with all sorts of jokes. A feel-good movie that is enjoyable to watch, it's funny, with some suspenseful scenes (the plane), but the absolute highlight is the Ezekiel scene. It’s an iconic scene in the car with a weird religious dude who literally made a church out of his van and the stuff he has there blew my mind. I almost went into cardiac arrest during those ten minutes. A scene I'll probably never forget. Otherwise, it teeters between 3 and 4 stars. 7/10.

A decent short from Spain that once again makes a statement: don’t pick up hitchhikers! Slightly tedious at first, but pleasantly rough towards the end, and that little girl is something else! 6/10.

Warning: anyone who fainted at The Human Centipede and A Serbian Film should avoid this one. This is a dark hell where limbs, brains and blood spurts at the viewer from the screen! I avoided Hotel Inferno for many years, at the time it was made it was a film I probably wouldn't have digested, watched, or appreciated, but now my tastes have evolved enough and I'm open to new possibilities, and I was able to enjoy it. It's a very low-budget underground flick that is poorly acted and from a filmmaking standpoint it's just so repulsive that I can understand the ratings ranging from garbage to full on. On the other hand, there is some stuff here that literally has a cult-classic feel to it. Horror-wise I found Hotel Inferno quite a bit functional and intense. The story seems simple at first. A guy is tasked with going to a hotel to kill a couple in the next room, but things go wrong, he blows off the contract and finds himself in a hellish hotel labyrinth going from room to room killing mostly everything he comes across in a pretty disgusting manner. It's filmed from a first person perspective, kind of like a video game, but that adds to the authenticity and all the gore is fully shown on camera. And there's plenty of it! I was intrigued by the fact that the film also has a pretty decent atmosphere, at times it’s quite creepy and chilling due to the setting of narrow dark corridors and caves, and in the end it turns out that the background brings a lot more to the story than it might seem. The craziest part for me was probably the massacre in the forest, it had a strong sense of homage to old Italy and especially Fulci – open chests, skulls crushed, heads mashed in several ways, spines ripped out and all sorts of other craziness that the average mainstream viewer won't pick up on, will vomit, be disgusted and maybe even be taken away. For the most marginal audience ever, but those who have perverse tastes will find it to their liking. I don't know myself whether I liked it or not, but it definitely left a mark on me and I probably won't forget it. 7/10: