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Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies

EvilPhoEniXAttack of the Lederhosen Zombies(2016) 

inglés An enjoyable Zombie comedy in the style of Dead Snow from the neighbors. A big upside is the short running time of 78 minutes, so the film moves quickly and doesn't bore for a second. The film has very decent zombie make-up effects and isn't afraid to show a good portion of bona fide gore, I found the characters likable, the chilly setting of Alps spells a cool atmosphere and overall the film is enjoyable to watch. Story 6/10, Atmosphere 6/10, Gore 8/10, Visuals 6/10, Action 7/10, Suspense 6/10, Humor 5/10. Entertainment 7/10, Puppets 3/10. 70%.

Animales fantásticos y dónde encontrarlos

EvilPhoEniXAnimales fantásticos y dónde encontrarlos(2016) 

inglés Nice surprise. The collaboration between David Yates and J.K. Rowling turned out great again. The film has only details in common with Harry Potter (the opening soundtrack, the orcs, the newspaper with the video, the names of the spells and the magical effect after the clash of wands), but in any case the film has a similar atmosphere of mini references as The Hobbit films. Eddie Redmayne is really a class act, at first I found his speech strange, yet he shows that he has his acting qualities, the two cute little sisters and the hilarious Dan Fogler were also great. I liked the whole concept of catching monsters in a trunk throughout New York, I wonder if there will be a different city in the next installment. The creatures are filmed brilliantly and are something to watch. Colin Farrell as the bad guy is also decent. Story 8/10, Atmosphere 9/10, Gore 0/10, Visuals 9/10, Action 8/10, Suspense 7/10, Humor 6/10. Entertainment 8/10, Scares 0/10. I'm glad to see the start of a decent series again, all the good ones are over. 85%.

Comanchería

EvilPhoEniXComanchería(2016) 

inglés A decent old school robbery crime drama that builds mainly on a desert atmosphere and a trio of great actors. Ben Foster is classically nutty, Chris Pine is excellent as usual, he's been picking decent films lately, and Jeff Bridges was perfect for the role of the Texas sheriff. I wasn't bored for a moment, it's just a pity that there is no gore at all, which would have been useful here, otherwise great. 80%

The True Memoirs of an International Assassin

EvilPhoEniXThe True Memoirs of an International Assassin(2016) 

inglés Kevin James is unfortunately an actor I don't find funny at all and his comedies are mostly mediocre and this one is no exception. The idea itself isn't bad, but the humour hardly works, the action is pretty good but what good is it when it's boring in places. Not much. Netflix missed the target this time. 40%.

Atlas

KakaAtlas(2024) 

inglés The panoramas of a big city, like Blade Runner from Wish, and the same comparison can be used when looking at the robots, which are very reminiscent of those from Avatar, but in the end everyone will still see through the fact that this is nothing but a quick consumer product from Netflix product, which is qualitatively most similar to The Creator. That one was admittedly also a B-movie, only it was deadly serious and had darker-toned camerawork, with a specifically Asian setting, while Atlas is a playful scifi B-movie that has no major ambitions and goes straight to a brand new planet in the Andromeda galaxy. One can highlight the pace, the brisk action, the relatively good value-for-money visuals. Everything moves quickly and without thinking too much, and in this case it's rather a plus. Jennifer Lopez acting goes on economy mode, but perhaps no one expected much else. We all know that her assets lie elsewhere than in her acting; a pretty bold move in itself casting-wise, but it's easily watchable.

Motel Destino

IviDvoMotel Destino(2024) 

inglés Motel Destino is a pretty ordinary love story with a predictable plot, the kind we’ve seen a thousand times, only set in a less typical environment for us. The vast majority of the film takes place in a sex hotel. The sex is not so much on camera, but rather permanently audible out of frame (from the rooms). This film doesn't strike me as anything very interesting or original (except maybe the constant moaning), without much substance, and I don't really see why it was chosen for the main Palme d'Or competition. [Festival de Cannes 2024]

Niki

IviDvoNiki(2024) 

inglés Catherine de Saint Phalle, known as Niki, was an important and multi-talented artist, painter, sculptor and illustrator. In her childhood she experienced very severe traumas that led to deep depression and a suicide attempt. It was during her stay in a psychiatric hospital that she began to devote herself to creative activity. Niki is the directorial debut of the well-known actress Céline Sallette, who shows quite some talent and attention to detail with this film. What I found to be a very interesting move were the scenes where Niki creates her works, or someone is watching and evaluating them, but the viewer doesn't see a single detail, there is not a single shot of her work, which is such a great bait for the uninitiated who doesn't know her works. Which was definitely the case for me, so logically I googled the artist right after the screening. [Festival de Cannes 2024]

KillBoy

3DD!3KillBoy(2023) 

inglés This hammy romp about a deaf and dumb killer who has to overthrow a totalitarian regime spares no expense with absurd scenes, black humour and incredible action that combines the best of The Raid with childish imagination and naivety. The self-parody sequences where the protagonist tells the story in a video game voice, doesn't understand a mumbling comrade or sees things that can't exist in the real world get a heavy kick in the balls at the end. The film delivers not one but two switcheroos and becomes a heavy existential drama that turns the previous course on its head. An original fun flick with a great Bill Skarsgård and a godlike Sharlto Copley that bends the rules of the genre, clumsily, but enough to push them in the right direction. The best weapon is the grater, and macaroons are the food of the gods. P.S: Yayan Ruhian reprises the bloody finale from The Raid 2.

Vestida para matar

DaViD´82Vestida para matar(1980) 

inglés Undisguisedly Hitchcockian. The script is very stupid, but what Brian De Palma spoils as a screenwriter, he makes up for mightily as a director. Plus, he's not afraid to use the skills of Ralf D. Bode and Pino Donaggio. More than one scene could have gone straight into the textbooks as an example of "how to slowly build a scene that evokes intense subliminal tension, shot by shot, without words" or "how to walk around a gallery for a few minutes and not breathe".

Los últimos hombres libres

StanislausLos últimos hombres libres(2001) 

inglés The third film treatment of the famous mystery writer would have failed miserably with me if it weren't for the inserted (sometimes frame) history arc and also thanks to a little cameo by Gloria Stuart. This time I didn't discover the killer before Jessica (Sarah) did, hence another plus. In short, an average made-for- TV movie that, in addition to the detective storyline, is also interested in the issue of slavery in 19th century America.

Drive

StanislausDrive(2011) 

inglés Drive is without a doubt a quality piece of filmmaking that deserves maximum attention despite its modest appearance. I saw it in the cinema, which added to my feelings and impressions, which through the excellent audiovisual aspect completely absorbed me. The editing was dynamic and incisive, just the way we like it in these films. The camera was perfectly placed and I have no words for the music - perfection itself. And then, of course, there's the cast, which was spot on, Ryan Gosling didn't just play his Driver, he was him. But the other members of the cast were a delight as well. In short, a very well made film that may be more brutal and bloody in places, but is all the more authentic and grounded.

El enigma celta

StanislausEl enigma celta(2003) 

inglés In her fourth feature film, Jessica Fletcher travels to Ireland and, as it happens, there is another murder that she tries to solve. This time I really liked the music and also the participation of Fionnula Flanagan. All in all, another pretty average whodunit that benefits from a nice production design among other things.

El valle de las abejas

StanislausEl valle de las abejas(1967) 

inglés A very precise and raw (often even brutal) film, visually enhanced by black and white cinematography and an authentic medieval setting. The acting performances of the main characters were convincing and the music by Zdeněk Liška complemented the powerful visuals perfectly. How far are we actually willing to go for what we believe in?

Underworld: El despertar

StanislausUnderworld: El despertar(2012) 

inglés I found the fourth installment of the Underworld saga to be the grittiest and bloodiest yet. The plot this time follows more the first and second parts, which was not a bad thing at all, although some might argue that the drastic jumping in time between the episodes does not benefit the series, but it didn't. I welcomed the return of Kate Beckinsale, as I didn't really like Rhona Mitra very much, and Kate is already a part of this series. What bothered me most were the somewhat poorly done effects in places, which were most noticeable with the lycans, but the superlycan was handled well visually. Aside from that, I must point out that in terms of logic, Awakening was the most stupid episode so far (Selene manages to both tip over a van and shoot her way through the bottom of a rapidly falling elevator in a matter of seconds), but my weakness for this series prevents me from giving it less than an average three stars. At times the plot is a bit wilder, but it still has a proper dose of action, chases and shoot-outs (albeit sometimes very out there and into the void).

Tre solar

StanislausTre solar(2004) 

inglés A pretty raw and starkly historical Nordic film that can be intriguing with its shots of the harsh Swedish countryside and the theme of a journey to love, but I was also put off by the amount of inappropriately (perhaps unintentionally) used black humour. In terms of acting and screenwriting, it was pure average. In short, a bland film in which love and death are pitted against each other.

La saga Crepúsculo: Amanecer - Parte 1

StanislausLa saga Crepúsculo: Amanecer - Parte 1(2011) 

inglés I like werewolves and vampires, which is why I'm still watching the Twilight saga, for the record. Bella sighs again in the traditional way, for this time she's already sure of her choice of future partner, so this one is a more bearable episode compared to two and three. Everything around it is so similar to the previous parts, and I personally was probably most impressed by the (rather rough) birth scene and the battle between werewolves and vampires. Otherwise I don't see anything else in it, perhaps only the nice soundtrack. In short, I got exactly what I expected, so despite my rating I wasn't totally disappointed with the result.

Vincent will Meer

StanislausVincent will Meer(2010) 

inglés Vincent Wants to Sea is a very good film that perfectly mixes elements of comedy and drama, so even though the protagonists are really sick, it is treated in a humorous way, which is good. All three actors were convincing and great in their roles, I especially praise Florian David Fitz, whose Tourette's I trusted without question. The supporting characters played by the doctor and the father only added to the pleasant atmosphere. In short, a film I highly recommend to watch, and even though it’s listed under drama, it's a great way to unwind.

El reino del planeta de los simios

StanislausEl reino del planeta de los simios(2024) 

inglés Caesar is dead, but his legacy lives on, albeit in a twisted form! Although I haven't seen War for the Planet of the Apes, I went to the cinema to see the latest entry in the post-apocalyptic ape saga, as it is a fresh reboot(?) of the franchise. Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is another audiovisually captivating spectacle, standing out in particular for its amazing CGI apes. Story-wise, the film doesn't have much to surprise, but it was still very easy to watch thanks to the attractive visuals and the regularly dosed action. I was intrigued by the character of Raky and also by the line with the breeding of eagles (it reminded me of the ikrans from Avatar). I wonder if there will be a sequel in the coming years, which I certainly wouldn't be averse to.

Estamos muertos… ¿o qué?

JFLEstamos muertos… ¿o qué?(1988) 

inglés They just don't make them like that anymore. The 1980s had their unmistakable charm thanks to the collapse of the floodgates that had held back decadent creativity, which in turn brought a boom to the video market. In the seventies, it was still necessary for films to attract viewers to cinemas, so every effort was exerted to evoke the impression of a certain level – the best example of this is porn productions at the time, which commented on sexuality as a social phenomenon. By contrast, the video market brought forth the need to immediately stand out from the mass of competing titles surrounding your film on all sides at the video rental shop. Dead Heat is characteristic of eighties titles, particularly in the context of zombie movies. By that time, zombies had migrated from the margins of cinema and into the mainstream, as was evident from the video for Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, and thus became a welcome addition to the portfolios of B-movie production companies. This time the living dead are surprisingly combined with a buddy-cop movie in the mould of 48 Hours or Red Heat, where the requisite pair of cool cops are not only on the trail of zombie criminals, but experience for themselves the benefits of relative post-mortem invincibility. The filmmakers consistently tried to evoke the impression of studio B-movie quality in this third-rate production. Both Treat Williams, aka “the poor man’s Kurt Russel”, and the mulletted meathead Joe Piscopo excel in their lead roles with unintentional ridiculousness. Literally every second line is an attempt (usually pitiful) at a dry one-liner and even Vincent Price appears in a cameo in recognition of the film’s inspiration. Even the basic buddy-movie concept breaks down under the onslaught of attractions and one-liners, as the protagonists differ basically only in the fact that one wears a sport coat and the other prefers a leather jacket, but the two of them are essentially identical über-dudes. The film actually retains the queer dimension of buddy action movies only when the two protagonists drive around the city together in a gaudy red Cadillac, whose ownership is not revealed, so it is apparently the property of a shared household. Despite the degree of campy entertainment that the genre foundation offers, attention is mostly focused on the magnificently crazy concept of the walking corpses. Fine masks and special effects make every clash a feast for the eyes of trash lovers, with the phenomenal highlight being the protagonists’ fight in a Chinese restaurant, where animal delicacies come to life. The bits with zombified chickens, a smoked pig and, in the climax, a whole side of beef place Dead Heat high on the list of unforgettable trash flicks. Furthermore, we could (if we so wanted) see the motif of zombifying the protagonists, who return after death to finish their last case, as an imaginative reflection of the formulas used in action movies about tough-guy cops. This time, it truly applies that for these heroes, who remain partners even beyond the grave, a bullet wound is just a scratch and their work becomes more important to them than their own lives when, after coming back to life, they don’t consider the consequences of this phenomenon, instead thinking only about catching the bastards who have all of it on their conscience.

Night of the Living Bread

JFLNight of the Living Bread(1990) 

inglés Though this short parody of Romero’s classic basically only has one idea, it is necessary to acknowledge its makers’ feel for comedic timing and imaginative shot composition, thanks to which the varying of a single joke over the course of eight minutes remains not only bearable, but even refreshingly absurd.

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