Snake Eyes: El origen

A prime example of the fact that writing scripts for Hollywood blockbusters today is like being on welfare, it must be a treat. No, I wasn’t offended by its stupidity, but it was cookie-cutter to the ground and I didn't give a damn. It has one great idea (a pure heart among ancient anacondas) and that's it. Iko Uwais is completely unused with his few minutes, the action is mediocre and there’s little of it, the targeting of children is quite obvious, but they didn't come to the cinema anyway, so where did the comrades from Paramount go wrong? (26.07.2021)

The origin story of the most famous member of G.I. Joe is a nicely simple and quite entertaining action flick that kicks Hollywood's average most of the time in terms of action, but occasionally manages to pleasantly surprise. Also, Schwentke doesn't skimp on the action, and if people are going to talk, at least it's in a beautifully kitschy "Japanese" setting full of neon and meditation gardens. A fun romp that knows it has to keep something going to keep you from getting bored. It's not in the first Hollywood league, but it's enough for a pleasant two hours in the cinema, if you know what you're getting into. (22.07.2021)

An enjoyable martial arts caper in an attractive Japanese setting. I'm not going to say that Snake Eyes is a great movie, it's not, and it's not a movie that you will want to see again when it's over. On the other hand there are a lot of familiar and favorite faces of mine, ninjas, the yakuza and a lot of action scenes, so I had a great time and got what I expected. Henry Golding is likeable, Andrew Koji is the biggest draw, Iko Uwais has less space but is good, and the duo of Samara Weaving and Tokyo is a dream threesome; the acting is very good. I have a few reservations about the action scenes and the most disappointing is the absence of R-rated action – had there been blood spurting in the rainy streets of Japan I'd probably be moaning with bliss. The messy editing bothered me at times, but the decent choreography, the fine fighters in front of the camera and the hard contact punches more or less made up for it. Plot-wise, the film doesn't impress with anything, of course, but by action standards I think it's good enough. I had fun. A fan of Asia and action should not be disappointed. The rest of the audience can skip the cinema. PS: I consider the jump-scare during the snake scene to be the most sneaky in perhaps the last ten years. Story 3/5, Action 4/5, Humour 0/5, Violence 1/5, Fun 4/5 Music 4/5, Visuals 4/5, Atmosphere 3/5, Suspense 3/5. 7/10. (25.07.2021)

This year's cinema flop, which stayed on the screens for barely a week before it was pulled out, is finally over and I am glad I didn't go to the cinema, because it is not great. On the other hand, though, it is not as bad as one would think with 50% of it. The biggest assets of the film are the quite interesting story, the occasional entertaining characters of the clan and Iko Uwais and Tokio from Money Heist in a supporting role, but the downsides probably outweigh them. Where the film wants to build and shock the most – and that's in the action – is paradoxically where it stumbles the most, as it's often so poorly and clutteredly shot that you get pretty lost in it, and the often dark backdrops of the fight sequences don't add to the clarity, and the already terrible cinematography gets even more lost in the darkness. Another problem is that I see Snake Eyes as having very little in common with the original G.I. Joe film and you wouldn't even know it was the same franchise apart from the main character. For a fourth star, the action is drastically lacking some basic believability, and even for those who wouldn't totally care about authenticity, the PG13 rating is a big stumbling block, if the film had gone into theaters with R-rating oozing blood and guts, we probably would have been happier. As it is, it's a bland flick that falls short in every way and the 2-hour running time is pretty excruciating. (05.09.2021)