The Shannara Chronicles

Surely neither Tyrande Whisperwind nor Malfurion Stormrage would agree with such a take on elves and druidism. I didn’t think anything would beat The 100 in its stupidity and lack of logic. Well, this epic almost did. I can totally hear the casting instructions: young and preferably attractive. The script was full of gaping holes and generally dysfunctional. Ten full episodes failed to explain why elves, goblins, and trolls appeared on earth after some sort of great war. I don’t think I’ll ever find out as I value my time too much to waste it on watching another season of this. (21.01.2017)

The first (and for me also last) season is thankfully over, and I can rush to YouTube to get over the depression caused by that soundtrack. The target audience of the series (preteens and teenagers) certainly came into their own, but I wanted to see a fantasy series, not a high-school musical. I did laugh a lot during scenes when I probably wasn’t expected to. (21.01.2017)

And it was written: "When the chosen one becomes an elf for the first time, the Frostmare will rise." I presume that the series is intended for a younger audience because everyone here is young, beautiful, and restless, except for the elf king who looks like a Leprechaun and the druid who looks like Crixus. I will definitely continue watching the series because I'm curious why elves look exactly like humans, except they have pointy ears, why trolls wear gas masks, why classic work boots are the typical footwear here, and why there are helicopter wrecks near Elfland. I'm also looking forward to seeing Eritrea's sister Somalia appear in the series after Eritrea introduced herself to us. (20.01.2017)

The second episode seemed a little better to me, even though it made me laugh several times when the plot deviated radically from spoken words. The sentence "Nobody must know about this", spoken in a room where there were six humanoids and a dog, was the peak of conspiracy. Only the sentence "Princess, this conversation would be more pleasant if you wore some clothes" surpassed it. If it turns out during the series that Will is gay, I will naturally take back this remark. Anyway, I have to appreciate the work of the IT team, they did a great job with the demons. (20.01.2017)

The third episode slipped in quality again, luckily for me, there were some moments that made me laugh. The performances of the younger actors remain unconvincing, the costumes are strange, for example, the elf king looks a bit like a naval officer of the Union fleet. I still don't understand the origin of the various wrecks and corrugated iron, but the thrilling conclusion of the episode saved everything. Oh my goodness, I'm so tense, will the princess survive???? (20.01.2017)

The fourth episode brought a super cute teenage party, a prophet with a childlike face, and Mystique, who again lost a few points on the beauty scale, all underscored by a disgustingly sweet soundtrack. The Chronicles are quickly heading towards the results achieved by the series The 100, which I love. (20.01.2017)

Fifth episode. Hurray, I'm halfway there! The script is downright ridiculous, the soundtrack is awful, and only James Remar is trying to give a legitimate acting performance, but with such material, it's really not easy. The star was saved by the team that takes care of the demons, the last one really turned out well. (20.01.2017)

The sixth episode convinced me that I was wrong, the series is not intended for a younger audience, it is evidently meant for young women and girls, because the beginning of the episode would fit perfectly into the Twilight Saga, there are increasingly more pathetic moments and the story increasingly resembles a millipede limping on all its little legs. (20.01.2017)

Unfortunately, the seventh episode explains many things, but for the series it doesn't mean anything good. After six episodes of suspenseful anticipation, the origin of the wrecks and the corrugated sheet metal was finally explained to me. Our civilization was destroyed by war and poof! Out of nowhere, completely new races appeared here, including elves, demons, and birdlegs. Well, that's an epic nonsense, but as if that wasn't enough, the creators added Frodo and Sam's journey to Mordor, only instead of the Ring they carry a Sword. Oh well... (20.01.2017)

Excellent, I've been waiting for this! The creators of the series have behaved like true alchemists who managed to transmute this pseudo-fantasy into pure excrement. Attempts at romantic moments can only have an effect on people with extremely turbulent hormone levels. The scriptwriter would help the project the most by committing suicide, but first, they could rid the world of the person responsible for the music in this horror. I won't even bother to comment on how the trolls look... (21.01.2017)

In the ninth episode, there was another addition of a warm bowel product. In the story, nothing works at all, desperate attempts to build up tension are laughable, and sometimes not even that. Well, it doesn't matter, I'll survive one more episode and then I'll watch something decent. (21.01.2017)

I can responsibly state that I have never seen an episode of a TV series or a movie (including pornographic ones) where the most frequent word was "semen". The Battle of the Pelennor Fields was not as epic as in The Return of the King, the desperately awkward love triangle was probably successfully ended thanks to advanced gardening, and hooray, it's finally over. (21.01.2017)