Cincuenta sombras liberadas

A diferencia de la segunda, no contiene escenas «serias» de las que reiría la mitad del cine. Y contiene menos erotismo, que parece estar allí de costumbre, como por deber. La tontería al estilo de la novela rosa con una supuesta línea de suspenso y una relación marital armoniosa entre los protagonistas. De hecho, me he acostumbrado a ellos. Sus simpatías son lo que mantiene la película unida. Los espectadores, especialmente en la primera parte, disfrutan de algo cada cinco minutos. (16.02.2018)

My immediate impression of this film was manifested in one of the first names to appear in the closing credits: Philip Nee Nee. Everything important happens in roughly the last fifteen minutes, which are preceded by an hour and a half of hopeless advertisements for wedding dresses, Paris, Audi, men’s shirts, vanilla ice cream, Aspen, sex toys...hollow narration for snobs. Through most of the movie, the only suffering incurred by the protagonists, who are so wealthy that they shop in boutiques where they are served champagne as they pick out clothes, is whether they will make the evening more pleasant with a butt plug, a vibrator or a whip. Instead of Dornan working out on gymnastic equipment, here we have – for lovers of camp – Dornan singing at the piano (this time, unfortunately, we don’t see a poster for a movie like The Chronicles of Riddick). Otherwise, everything between the central couple remains as it was. Anastasia has problems and doesn’t listen. Christian punishes her, which she sometimes likes and sometimes doesn’t. All disagreements in the relationship are resolved by means of expensive gifts. Despite all of that, this particular Fifty Shades is slightly more tolerable than the second instalment in the series, which was ten minutes longer and far more obstinate in its disrespect for storytelling logic and causality between scenes. Though I would not in any case call this art, I find it extraordinary that someone can write and make a film that is so empty that there is nothing in it that you could hate. But it looks good and your brain can comfortably relax. 35% (08.02.2018)

A Series of Unfortunate Events of the Worst Bodyguard of All Time. Among the more entertaining findings is the fact that the plot fragments definitively collided during architecture lessons and a few failed attempts by the thwarted suitor, while the sadder ones include shock that even such a beauty as Arielle Kebbel doesn't look good in this shade of nonsense. The dead end of literary adaptations is finally reaching its finale and I hope that nobody ever returns to it. (20.09.2018)

Interesting paradox, the worst and most annoying thing about it is why audiences, and especially female audiences, go to the cinema to see. This attempt at a soft porn thriller movie for teens is a total drag on the overall experience, which isn't even necessary with such a charismatic lead character. Leaving aside the need to do some very stupid sexual scenes every 10 minutes, this is a slightly below-average thriller and a very above-average probe into the pioneering generation of today's successful thirty-somethings with all that entails. Foley offers a fresh, entertaining and smart interaction between two people with a lot of "life" potential, and throws down the gauntlet to the materialised peers sitting in the cinema, because living on even a tenth of the social/financial level of the film's Grey couple opens up a hell of a gateway to a world where a lot of things are possible to experience, acquire and achieve. If you take the good out of it, it's quite a motivational film as well. (12.04.2018)

El tercer episodio confirmó lo fundamental relacionado con toda la serie: el guion/novela es extraordinariamente débil. Si bien desde mi punto de vista, la primera película resultó mejor que el libro, la segunda y tercera se perdieron en tonterías. Con el tercer episodio, me giraba la cabeza al ver cómo algunas escenas estaban pegadas innecesariamente, y si no estuvieran en la película, no pasaría absolutamente nada. Especialmente la segunda mitad de la película fue, en varios momentos, bastante sufrimiento. (20.06.2020)

No need to torture me, I’ll admit right from the start that I have a huge crush on Irish actor Jamie Dornan. Not to mention that in the final installment of this hated trilogy, he finally looks like a proper man with stubble on his face, and not just because of his hunky body. In addition, compared to the second, rather boring episode, I finally encountered some suspense and almost a detective plot. Although the script was quite silly in places, I surprisingly enjoyed Fifty Shades Freed. I might be exaggerating a little, but I really enjoyed it. (70%) (13.10.2022)