Van Helsing

Me encanta la composición de la imagen, el arte cinematográfica, Kate Beckinsale y los efectos digitales, siempre que se utilicen sabiamente (Parque Jurásico). Por no hablar de las películas de terror clásicas. Pero no me puede gustar Van Helsing. Para eso, necesito magia, un toque de realidad de la película. La realización de Van Helsing costó 150 millones de dólares, y evocó la misma emoción e interés por los personajes que su tráiler de apenas un minuto. Vacío emocional, desinterés total por lo que ocurre en la pantalla. Los efectos digitales no han progresado un pelo, mantienen la misma calidad desequilibrada y son tantos que dejamos de creer en el mundo que nos fingen. Y Richard Roxburgh es aquí el mayor error de casting del año. Dos estrellas sólo por el impresionante prólogo, los bonitos decorados y el chiste de la vaca. (05.05.2004)

Stephen, Kate and Hugh made a cake that is not very palatable. It looks like a burger from McDonald’s and it tastes like that too: it’s not very juicy and too crowded with toppings. If I were to take it as laid-back popcorn entertainment, there would have to be a clearer sign that the film doesn't take itself too seriously. If I were to be afraid, Sommers would have to be able to create an atmosphere of tension. Instead, I was bored, waiting to see what kind of rubbish the director would unload on me again, and the few scares didn't save it. And when it comes to the action, well, I have nothing against a crossbow shooting arrows like a machine gun, but in a film that is supposed to be a sort of homage to old horror movies (in the words of the director), it feels like a punch in the face. And for me to have fun, there would have to be at least some funny moments. Sommers evokes lightness with exaggerated action scenes that lack wit and logic (but whatever). And Dracula? I don't understand why the Lord of Darkness has to look like the frontman of some faded pop rock band like Bon Jovi. Murnau's Nosferatu, lay your hand of vengeance on that barbaric Sommers and taste his arteries. He’s calling for it! (23.05.2004)

Little kids will love Van Helsing, it's cute, colourful, fast-paced, likeable, and can draw on the rich "monster-movie" mythology that they love so much, with apparently every single drop being squeezed out of it. Teens will respect Van Helsing because it stars the cool Wolverine guy, Kate Beckinsale struts around the set in tight pants, and because the plot leaves no room for any pesky emotions and merely furiously presents Sommers' most B-movie homage to a popular and nearly extinct film genre. On the other hand, adults who have seen a few fantasy flicks in their lifetime will hate and laugh at Van Helsing because it's visually overstuffed, emotionally barren, blandly acted, and has a script that was either concocted by someone on drugs or someone who needed to make a quick buck for drugs. I’m giving it three stars only because I was a little boy, or a teenager, when I watched it on VHS, and a thick whiff of nostalgia comes over me every time Hugh Jackman raises his crossbow, or when the camera hungrily takes in Kate Beckinsale's backside, or when Richard Roxburgh, playing Dracula, tries to resurrect his ugly offspring, distant relatives of the little zombie from Jackson's Braindead. Alan Silvestri deserves the biggest praise, the other stars should forget about this overpriced trip to Transylwood. 55% (28.07.2015)

I dare say that there is no significant difference between the favorably received Mummy and the criticized Van Helsing. It is equally fast, skillful, and superficial without an internal story logic. The difference, expressed in my case by one star, lies in the level of self-awareness, where The Mummy follows in the footsteps of Indiana Jones with its style, while Van Helsing does not want to entertain, but rather to impress to its own detriment. As it takes itself too seriously, all the shortcomings of Sommers' directing style are more easily revealed. Overall impression 40%. (26.10.2007)

Nonstop shredder, exaggerated affect and absolutely unmastered narrative tone in combination with excellent action, unbeatable fighter Jackman and sufficient exaggeration. I try to avoid phrases like "popcorn entertainment" if possible, but Van Helsing is precisely the epitome of action-adventure certainty. (13.05.2006)